


Maybe?

by nirroca



Series: Lavender [18]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F, Pre-Relationship, early days of haven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 23:14:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20938367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nirroca/pseuds/nirroca
Summary: “I never would have picked you as a stargazer Cassandra,” Ellana’s soft voice says thoughtfully, and Cassandra turns to find the smaller woman looking up at the sky beside her.“It would surprise many to know that I’m not entirely unfeeling in the face of beauty,” Cassandra remarks dryly, returning her gaze to the heavens when Ellana hums thoughtfully.A small moment that makes Cassandra begin to question everything.





	Maybe?

Sharing a room was strange.

She’d done it before as a recruit when she first joined the Seekers, and had shared tents when travelling to do her work.

But a room with two other grown women? It was odd. And loud, with Josephine and Leliana talking about their past and their work until all hours of the night.

Not that she could complain, they were lucky to have a room at all with all the people that crowded Haven now that the Inquisition had made itself known.

And all those bodies meant that quiet places to sit comfortably and unwind after spending her days running drills with Cullen were hard to come by. So much so she began to look forward to the quiet hours she would spend with the Herald - _Ellana_ \- the afternoons that she would wander off into the valley and Cassandra was tasked with finding her. Haven was loud and overwhelming at times even for Cassandra, so she can’t imagine how bad it must be for someone with hearing as sensitive as Ellana’s.

She had taken to spending the early evenings in the Singing Maiden before it got busy. The food was better than what was on offer anywhere else in Haven and it became an unspoken rule that the table in the back corner was the Seeker’s and for once she was glad for her ill-tempered reputation because it meant that that area of the tavern was avoided whilst she was there.

Something that the Herald apparently wasn’t bothered by. Or didn’t care about, because at some point and much to Cassandra’s chagrin they had started becoming friends.

Ellana, Sera and Varric usually came into the tavern in a flurry of laughter around the time that she leaves, the group exchanging awkward platitudes in passing. The sound of their laughter as they walk away drowned out by the sound of Cassandra’s boots crunching on the half-frozen gravel as she makes her way back to the Chantry.

But lately, Cassandra finds that she lingers a little longer, indulges in an extra glass of wine, reads a few more pages of her book.

She missed having someone she considered a friend, and it was nice - _flattering_ \- to have someone that enjoyed being in her company willingly.

After successfully recruiting the Redcliffe horse master to the Inquisition ranks the atmosphere in Haven is just a little bit lighter - small pieces of hope had that effect Cassandra muses. Ellana and her usual cohort plus a few extras have taken over one of the larger tables on the opposite side of the tavern from her usual seat, and are laughing at some tale that Varric is telling, suspiciously similar to one from one of his books.

She catches glimpses of Ellana at the end of the table, nursing a large mug that she takes sips from every now and then as she laughs along with the others. But there is something that seems a little off about her. Cassandra puts it down to fatigue from their long journey, she herself ready to retire for the evening and it's only just gone past sundown. Occasionally she sees her glance at her spot over in the corner an odd expression on her face, and if Cassandra didn’t know any better she’d almost think that Ellana would rather be sitting quietly in the corner with her.

Which was of course ridiculous.

Cassandra sighs, finishing the last of the drink in her glass and walks out as quietly as she entered, the noise of the tavern cut off sharply when the door closes behind her the metal latch clicking sharply in the quiet of the night.

She doesn’t think she’ll ever get used to the chill of the Frostbacks, mild no matter the time of year after the sun set behind the towering mountains they were surrounded by. The sky was clear and cloudless, the stars scattered across the canvas of the night stunning in a way that she could never hope to describe well enough to do them justice, even with the eerie green glow from the angry tear in the sky.

She doesn’t hear the footsteps as they come up beside her, not until she feels the warmth of another brush against her arm. There are only two people in Haven comfortable being this close to her, and the faint smell of Elfroot tells her it isn’t Leliana.

“I never would have picked you as a stargazer Cassandra,” Ellana’s soft voice says thoughtfully, and Cassandra turns to find the smaller woman looking up at the sky beside her.

“It would surprise many to know that I’m not entirely unfeeling in the face of beauty,” Cassandra remarks dryly, returning her gaze to the heavens when Ellana hums thoughtfully.

“It's not surprising that beauty appreciates beauty Cassandra,” Ellana says quietly, almost as if she’s talking to herself.

Cassandra looks at her with a frown, and the expression on Ellana’s face is strange. Is something that Cassandra struggles to read in the dim light of the torches that are littered throughout Haven.

Ellana’s expression shifts into a wry smile that doesn’t quite meet her eyes, and her next words knock Cassandra off balance.

“They’re almost as beautiful as you,” She exhales. The words coming out in a rush of air, as if she'd lose her nerve if she said them any slower. 

“You’re drunk,” Cassandra snorts, not even daring to believe that the words are meant honestly. Surely she’s just teasing her.

“Only enough to say what I’m thinking around you for once,” Ellana’s words are followed by a harsh bite of laughter, her long hair shifting around her shoulders as she shakes her head.

Her words give Cassandra pause. They hadn’t known each other for long but Ellana had always been honest enough with her. Why would now be any different?

“I apologise,” Ellana says stepping away from her, leaving space for the coolness of the night to take over what her warmth kept at bay. “I’ve overstepped, goodnight Cassandra,”

The shift in her mood was strange and leaves Cassandra feeling like something important just slipped from her grasp as she watches Ellana walk away from her.

“_They’re almost as beautiful as you_,” Cassandra replays the words back to herself as she walks the short distance to the Chantry. The flush of her cheeks as she remembers the soft way those words were said burns in the cool night air and a small part of her feels warm at Ellana’s admission.

But she doesn’t want to think too deeply on what that means.

She’s through the door to the room she shares with Leliana and Josephine before she even thinks to school her features, something she regrets when Leliana notices the lightness of her expression as soon as she sees her, and doesn’t hesitate in pressing the matter.

“Why Cassandra, you look flushed, are you alright?”

Her words are sweet, but Cassandra has known the meddling redhead for long enough to know that it's just a front, and she won’t stop until she finds out what she wants to know.

“It's cold?” Cassandra tries weakly, knowing that she stands no chance against the two women. Not when she’s managed to pique their interest with just the redness in her cheeks.

Cassandra sits on the edge of her bed, shedding some of her outer layers in the warmth of the room, trying to busy herself to distract from the nerve-wracking experience that is being under scrutiny by Leliana.

“You wouldn’t be evasive if it wasn’t something you were sure about,” Leliana muses, watching her closely, searching her face for a reaction that Cassandra refuses to give her.

“Leave her be Leliana,” Josephine chimes in looking up from the letter that she’s quietly been reading, and Cassandra has a moment of relief until she remembers that Josephine is just as bad as her partner in crime when she senses a situation that needs getting to the bottom of.

“Could it be the Herald?” Leliana asks with a smirk, and Cassandra knows there's no escaping this, not when the flush of her cheeks burns anew and Leliana grins at her. “I knew it.”

“There's no need to be so smug about it,” Cassandra sighs, rubbing her face. Just because she knows doesn’t mean she has to give her details. But if there was anyone that knew what Ellana might have meant it's the two women in front of her.

The silence makes her cave in the end.

“I was admiring the clear view of the sky and she joined me. Said it was unexpected that I was someone that would spend time looking at the stars, and then - then she told me that they were almost as beautiful as I was,”

Judging by the look on Leliana’s face it wasn’t what she expected, and she almost looks remorseful for having pushed the issue knowing some of how Cassandra feels about her looks.

“She’s forward, I’ll give her that,”

“But what does it mean?” Cassandra asks feeling frustrated at the conflicted feelings that swirl in her chest, leaving her feeling cold and uneasy. But also warm and hopeful. She can’t explain it but it's there and she clings to it because it's better than the cold uncertainty.

“I’m afraid if you have to ask Cassandra you’re not ready to know,” Leliana sighs looking at her thoughtfully, the angular line of her brows furrowed as she studies Cassandra.

Maybe she wasn’t ready, not yet. But the question was still there, lingering behind her teeth.

What if?

No. It was better not to think about it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
